God has used the combination of the study “Idols of the Heart” by Elyse Fitzpatrick with the reading of “Humble Roots” by Hannah Anderson to bring conviction in my life in many ways. On our first night of bible study, I shared with the ladies I teach the two idols that God had already shown me: Self-righteousness and Self-sovereignty. The two sins that God condemned the Israelites for became evident with these idols: pride and unbelief. Pride that says, “Well, I’m not as bad as that person.” Pride found in reading my bible every day and being able to teach it. My self-righteousness is like filthy rags, actually menstrual cloths, to the Lord! (Isaiah 64:6) God hates pride. After twenty-plus years of being a Christian, I still battle it. I hate it! But yet I can’t seem to have victory over it.
Self-sovereignty is my term for wanting to be in control of situations and everyone. It’s wanting the Lord to line up with my plan instead of me trusting in His. It is not believing that His timing is perfect and His way is better than my way.
The latest reveal of God is my self-worship. I am full of myself. Just ask my mom or my friend, Lori. I was just going on and on to her about some things concerning myself and though I put it in a jokingly manner my heart was not joking. For example, the card I got my boss for Bosses’ Day said:
Outside of card-You’re the greatest boss!
Inside of card-And I’m the greatest employee! It’s a win-win situation!
Really? How grandiose is that!
God sends no one away empty except those who are full of themselves. -Andrew Murray
What’s the purpose in laying bare my heart? First, I need prayer. I need the prayers of my brothers and sisters in Christ. Secondly, I want accountability. I want to be reminded of my confession here and the desire to be free of all things ME. Next, I need God’s word. I surely can’t be the only one that battles these sins. What scriptures have helped you? Finally, I want to see revival. In me. In our church. In our nation. Every revival began with sincere repentance.
Pride must die in you, or nothing in heaven can live in you. -Andrew Murray
Lord, kill my pride.