We became fast friends my first year away at a major university. She was smart, fun and a little wild. We studied hard and partied hard managing to make our way through to summer break. We each departed to our small hometowns anxiously awaiting the fall semester where we would do it all over again. It was just a few weeks into break when she called with the news of her pregnancy:
“He wants to pay for an abortion.”
I remember that little moment when she entertained the thought of keeping the baby and I’m sure she was smiling.
“What will your parents say? What will you do about school?” I questioned her. I knew if it was me the fear of telling my parents and the shame would be too much. I saw abortion as an easy way out for my friend.
“I don’t know,” she quietly replied.
A few days later she called announcing her appointment was scheduled and she would be having an abortion. I didn’t try to change her mind. I selfishly wanted her back with me in college. A baby would change all that. She called after it happened. Trying not to cry, she told me very little except for the sound of the suction noise.
“I don’t ever want to talk about this again.”
So it would be. We may have talked a few times that summer before life would happen and we would drift apart. I ended up not returning to the university and she graduated with honors.
Fast forward about ten years. I had been a Christian for a few years and I’m at a Christian women’s conference. It’s the late afternoon session and the woman is speaking on abortion. I yawn and wiggle around in my seat.
“Lord, this really doesn’t pertain to me. I’ve never had an abortion.”
“But you were an accomplice to one.”
Now, I don’t know if God would use the word accomplice. All I know is that phrase came to me as soon as I had thought those words. Immediately my friend came to my mind. No, I hadn’t had an abortion but I had encouraged her to have one. I was indeed an accomplice to abortion. I began to listen to the speaker as she shared more of the pain of her abortion.
I couldn’t get my friend out of my mind. I asked the Lord to forgive me for encouraging her to kill her child. I sought out two of my friends that were at the conference. I told them what the Lord had shown me and asked them to pray for her. I had gotten her address from another college friend and decided I would send her a letter.
So I did. I asked her forgiveness too and explained that I was now a Christian. I shared the Gospel. I told her that the Lord wanted to heal her broken heart and bind up her wounds. She just needed to cry out to Him.
I would never hear from her. When I see an article on abortion or hear a report of those from our church who go to a local abortion clinic, I think of her. I wish in that moment, when she was smiling over the life in her womb, I would have said something differently.
Maybe, like I did, you have a letter to write. Or perhaps you are one who has had an abortion and you can’t forgive yourself let alone think God can forgive you. I encourage you to read this post by Nancy Guthrie. There is no sin that God’s grace does not cover when we cry out to Him for forgiveness.